Negativity in EMS

Negativity and cynicism in EMS.

It used to be the salty old medics or the parasauras’s that were so negative and cynical. Now…it’s infiltrated the next generation. I see it everyday on social and at work. 

Sitting around with co-workers and collectively complaining feels good in the moment thanks to Dopamine and frankly, it’s super easy to do. We feel like we belong. We are biologically wired to want to be part of the “heard”. If we are the outcast, it means death. 

Negativity is hard wired into our primitive brain. Our brains are constantly scanning for danger, and recalling negative events from the past in an effort to protect us. This can be useful, especially in medicine. Over time, it becomes harder and harder to keep it out of our everyday life.

Be aware of the negativity bias. This is when our brain fills in missing information about the story or situation with negativity. We all have this, but we are also capable of re-directing it. It’s ok if we don’t know the whole story. 

Cynicism is part of a defensive posture we use to protect ourselves from being hurt. When we allow this to fester, it skews our outlook. Cynics distrust everything new they see and hear, they are intolerant of new ideas, and they are pessimistic about everything.

I’m not saying that I’m perfect at this either. But, I did have a major shift in my attitude about 5 years ago and it has made all the difference in the world!

Why do I want to talk about this? Why does it really matter? I mean, there are probably more important things to work on right now? Right?? 

Wrong. It is very important to talk about this because negativity, cynicism, and complaining erode your well being. YOUR WELL BEING.  

Your well being is UP TO YOU. Yes, you. 

Here’s the problem with all the negativity, complaining and cynicism. It makes you feel like ass. Your brain does not like feeling like this. Our primitive brains are driven to avoid pain….even emotional pain. Irritation. Frustration. Anger. Disappointment. Judgement. Fear. All feel like pain. 

Your brain will then do what brains do and find a way to feel better. 

What’s the quickest, most efficient way to feel better??  False pleasure, which is highly concentrate natural pleasure. Whats the difference between the two? False pleasure has net negative consequences. We get way bigger hits of Dopamine with false pleasures.

Here are examples of false pleasures:

  • Snacks. All packaged foods, including beverages. If it’s mostly sugar and flour, it’s a false pleasure food. 
  • Alcohol
  • Social Media
  • Netflix
  • Gaming & gambling
  • Porn

What are the net negative consequences?

Weight gain. Dependance. Addiction. Loneliness. Depression. Divorce. Disconnection. Financial problems. And, a whole host of medical problems including inflammation, hormone disruption, hypertension, insulin resistance, type 2 diabetes to name a few.

The more we feel like shit, the more complaining we do, and the more negative we become. This is the negative loop we get stuck in, which feels impossible to get out of!!

What is the solution?  How do you stop this negative spin cycle??

  1. Awareness. Are you the negative Nancy, pessimistic Patty? Cynical Cindy of your base?  It’s ok if you are. This does not mean you are a bad person. It’s your brain doing what brains do.  Start paying attention and noting when you are being negative, complaining, or cynical. See if in that moment you can admit that to yourself.  A great question to ask yourself is “is this they type of person I want to be?” “Is this how I want to show up?”
  2. Reframing your ANTS…..automatic negative thoughts. With curiously and non-judgement…..Ask yourself “what else could be going on?” “What is a different way to look at this situation” “What else could be true?”.  Example: You give report to the receiving RN and they are super short and snarky. You then complain the whole way back to base about how rude the nurse was, you take it personally.  Instead, be curious. I wonder why they were do short and snarky with me? I know the ER was slammed, maybe they were feeling rushed and I was being really long winded. Maybe this is their third patient in an hour. Maybe they didn’t get a break yet and are very hungry. I wonder if I did something rude? I guess I did snap at them when they said something about the “ride” over here….
  3. EAT…Equal Air Time. I love this concept and I find it very useful in my everyday life. This is intentional thinking and observation. This will take time to develop. If you are going to spend time on the negative, you have to spend just as much time on the positive. Now, this not gonna be easy and might not go over well with your co-workers…especially if you are talking about leadership.  Start with the easy stuff. Hey, nice job on that IV, it looked like it was a tough one. Great job on your report. Giving compliments is an easy way to do this. Whether we give them to others, or ourselves. A compliment a day keeps the negativity at bay!!  You can find the good and the positive in the world if you intentionally look for it. 

When you start to practice these things, you will notice a slight shift. Keep going. Eventually it will get much easier. You’ll notice the negativity much more in the people around you. Don’t try to change them (unless they ask you to), be the example to them. 

If you have questions, send me a DM. 

xo. Valerie

PS. If you are NOT in the All EMS Women private, female only FB group, click the “join Now” button below to join 

Stress in EMS part 1

Stress.  It’s all around us.  Those that work in EMS know this all too well.

Even though we experience a tremendous amount of stress, and I’m not just talking about the “easy” part, which in my opinion is taking care of the patient, but all the parts that make up our job…this all causes us stress.

Despite this stress, we keep showing up to work. We are high functioning people. 

But, I have a sneaking suspicion that how you are actually dealing with, or managing your stress is contributing to more stress.

I’m pretty familiar with this way of dealing with the stress for myself, and I get to see how my husband who is also a full time flight paramedic deals with it.

And, I see it all over social media.  We have been taught how to deal with our stress by watching others, and advertising.

After a hard day at work, I bet you have the thought “I could really use a drink”, or “I just need a snack to take the edge off”. 

Most of us deal with stress by drinking alcohol, eating snacks or comfort food, binge watching TV, gaming, social media, online shopping, or watching porn.

You might think, “What’s the big deal”, or “It works for me”.  This is a lie your brain in telling you so you’ll keep engaging in these false pleasures.  False pleasure have net negative consequences on the other side.  Weight gain, addiction, dependance, avoidance, distraction, and added stress.

This added stress disrupts our sleep, our emotional bandwidth, thoughts about ourselves, creates unbalanced hormones, lack of energy and so on.

But my friend, it’s not your fault.  It’s a sign that your brain is working perfectly.  Your brain (the primitive brain to be exact) is just trying to help you.  It wants you to survive. It drives you to seek pleasure at any cost to get away from the negative feelings (stress, overwhelm, fear).  All of the false pleasures do this very quickly. 

The primitive brain can’t see past the current moment it is in.  Most of us are living from our primitive brain.  We are reactionary (ah, hello…EMS! Totally reactionary medicine).  We do what we want in the moment and don’t think about the consequences on the other side.

There is a solution.  It takes practice and patience.

Awareness is a big part.  Learning techniques to process and work through the stress.  Recognize when we are using false pleasure and learn to question ourselves in those moments.

In the upcoming week, I’ll talk more about the solutions, but for now, I just want you to be aware of how you are using false pleasures in your life to manage your stress.

I’d love to hear from you.  Send me a DM or email.

Have a great week!!

xo.  Valerie

Come join my communities!  

If you are a WOMEN in EMS, click HERE to join the ALL EMS WOMEN private FB Page!

Open to both Women and Men in EMS is my EMS Weight Loss & Well Being private FB Page.  To join, click HERE.

Feeling Less

Feeling Less vs Feeling better

Listen up EMS….your goal should not be to feel less stress.⁠

You are going to feel that way because of the jobs we do. ⁠

The goal is to learn how to process your stress in a way that does not create MORE stress.⁠

We try to feel less stress by distracting ourselves from it. Eating, drinking, shopping, TV watching, gambling, porn…this does not make you feel less stress. ⁠

The problem is that in the moments we are distracting ourselves from the stress, we feel good thanks to thinking about the food/ETOH, etc and the dopamine hit we get from doing those things. ⁠

Your feeling of stress will wait for you. It always does. Now, you’ve just compounded your stress. And, you feel worse. ⁠

Look, I’ve been there, hell, I still go there. I get it. It still is not the solution to the stress.⁠

Just being aware that this is going on is super helpful. Pay attention.⁠

xo. Valerie⁠

Come join my communities!  

If you are a WOMEN in EMS, click HERE to join the ALL EMS WOMEN private FB Page!

Open to both Women and Men in EMS is my EMS Weight Loss & Well Being private FB Page.  To join, click HERE.

PS. Watch the FREE video training I made on the ABC’s of Weight Loss for EMS.   Just click the blue button below to watch the video.

The ONE thing

The ONE thing you need to know to lose weight is just a few clicks away.

I created a PDF with all the deets. You can grab it fo FREE here.

When I learned about this ONE thing, it blew my mind AND I was PISSED that none of the previous 10+ diets I had been on never ONCE mentioned this. Not ONCE.⁠

From that moment on, it became my mission to make sure everyone who wants to lose weight knows THIS ONE THING.⁠

Of course, learning more info is fun and exciting and feels important. But, if we don’t take ACTION, the learning is wasted.⁠

Have an amazing week!⁠

xo. Valerie⁠

Come join my communities!  

If you are a WOMEN in EMS, click HERE to join the ALL EMS WOMEN private FB Page!

Open to both Women and Men in EMS is my EMS Weight Loss & Well Being private FB Page.  To join, click HERE.


Valerie Bestland Before & After

Stop waiting for the perfect time to go after a goal.⁠

Waiting for “Perfect” is just another way to say you are afraid.⁠

That’s ok, just be honest with yourself.⁠

Being afraid holds us back from living into our full potential. ⁠

A few quotes I love (not sure who they are from)⁠
feel the fear and do it anyway” ⁠
“You can do it afraid”⁠
“fear does not mean stop”⁠
“fear is just a vibration in your body, it can’t harm you”⁠

And, my own quote “what is the difference between fear and excitement? A thought”⁠


I was so afraid to “try” to lose weight again. I had wasted so much money and time on all the BS “diets” out there. ⁠

It was humiliating to gain and lose, gain and lose over and over again.⁠

One day, I had enough and pressed “complete order” and signed up for a coaching program. I have never regretted it.

Sure, my weight has gone up and down. But what I know now, is the REAL reason why I gain and lose weight. ⁠

It’s not from the foods I eat or don’t eat…the work outs I do or don’t do..It begins with a Thought.⁠

How we THINK determines the RESULTS we get.⁠

Send me a DM if you are ready to feel the fear and sign up for my Weight Loss & Well-Being Coaching program. ⁠

xox. Valerie⁠

PS. Check out a FREE training I created just for those of us in EMS.  Click the blue button below to watch the video.

Cinco de Mayo

Cinco de Mayo
I have spent many years using this day as an EXCUSE to OVERinduldge.
Now, since paving my path to permanent weight loss I approach this day as an EXCEPTION in my eating protocol which has been well planned out ahead of time.
As a weight loss coach, one of the fundamentals I teach is something called Pre-Frontal Planning.
This means we use our Pre-Frontal Cortex to plan what we will eat and drink ahead of time. NOT in the moment with our Primitive Brain.
Why does this matter?
Most of us live our life by making decisions from our Primitive Brain: I want it NOW. Instant satisfaction. MORE, MORE, MORE. It’s like the devil on your shoulder whispering in your ear…”you totally deserve that drink today. You worked hard. Go ahead, have it.” Living from and making decisions from the Primitive Brain feels good in the moment. Unfortunately, it can’t predict how you will feel LATER.
It can’t foresee that pleasure from OVEReating now will result in weight gain LATER.
Pre-Frontal Planning is using the part of our brain that can predict the future consequences of decisions. If…then… If I drink now, then I will feel terrible later.
If I OVEReat I will see an increase on the scale.
When we plan our food and drink ahead of time, we do so with our future in mind.
We can make decisions based on our LONG term goals, which will feel amazing.


  • I have decided that I will have two Margaritas today.
  • I have decided that I will have homemade chips, salsa and guacamole today.
  • I have decided that I will eat baked Mexican chicken casserole today.
  • I will stop eating when I feel just satisfied. Not full.
  • I will not overeat.
I also make this exception knowing that I might now see the scale go down this week.
I’m ok with that. This is the EXCEPTION not my daily RULE.
One last thing….don’t think for a SECOND that this is EASY.
Our Primitive Brains are what evolved the humans.
It will not sit quietly while I eat chips and salsa and wash it down with a drink.
I’m ok now sitting with that feeling of wanting more and not having it.
This takes a ton of practice and failure.
Happy Cinco de Mayo!
xo. Val

PS. Watch the FREE video training I made on the ABC’s of Weight Loss for EMS.   Just click the blue button below to watch the video.

Come join my communities!  

If you are a WOMEN in EMS, click HERE to join the ALL EMS WOMEN private FB Page!

Open to both Women and Men in EMS is my EMS Weight Loss & Well Being private FB Page.  To join, click HERE.


Free food

The Food we eat matters.⁠

What we put inside out bodies shows up in how our bodies look on the outside.⁠

I know that a lot of places are giving EMS and Healthcare workers “free food”.⁠

But is it really “free”?⁠

It might not cost you money for that food, but it will cost you something.⁠

Are you willing to keep paying for that overweight body?⁠

Just because something is “free” does not mean you have to eat it either.⁠

You don’t need a fast food restaurant giving you free food to feel appreciated.⁠

The feeling of appreciation comes only from your thoughts….not the free things companies are giving away to EMS and Healthcare workers.⁠

Appreciate yourself.⁠

Appreciate others.⁠

I dare you to tell 5 people today how much you appreciate them. ⁠

Be safe out there!⁠

xo. Valerie⁠

PS. I made a video just for you called the ABC’s of Weight Loss for EMS.  Please click the button below to watch it!

Come join my communities!  

If you are a WOMEN in EMS, click HERE to join the ALL EMS WOMEN private FB Page!

Open to both Women and Men in EMS is my EMS Weight Loss & Well Being private FB Page.  To join, click HERE.

Stay Well EMS

Stay Well EMS

Good morning!⁠

As many of us head in to work this morning I want you to think about how you can stay well while on Duty.⁠

What would that look like for you?⁠

Are you willing to put your brain to work and figure out how to drink a few extra bottles of water today?⁠

What about deciding to only eat when you are hungry and stop when you feel satisfied…not full?⁠

How can you move you move your body while not on a call?⁠

What about when you feel the stress building up while en route to a trauma? Can you take 4 slow very deep breaths? ⁠

If you do have a bad trauma and you are feeling especially stressed when you clear the hospital (and your not driving!) pull out your phone and play a game on your phone for a few min.⁠

I know these things seem small and don’t seem like they matter, but my friends, they do. ⁠

Taking care of ourselves during this pandemic is critical.⁠

Have a safe day.⁠

xo. Val⁠

PS. Watch the FREE video training I made on the ABC’s of Weight Loss for EMS.   Just click the blue button below to watch the video.

Come join my communities!  

If you are a WOMEN in EMS, click HERE to join the ALL EMS WOMEN private FB Page!

Open to both Women and Men  in EMS is my EMS Weight Loss & Well Being private FB Page.  To join, click HERE.

Oooh, that feels good….

Brain + Dopamine

Your brain on pleasure:  Oooh baby, that feels so goooood.

Us humans have been experiencing pleasure since the beginning.  Pleasure is vital to our existence.  By seeking pleasure, we are able meet our most basic human needs.

Our Primitive Brain is wired to seek pleasure…avoid pain (physical & emotional)….and stay efficient (Ex. remember where we found that pleasure and repeat).

Natural pleasure are personal connection, touch, sex, eating healthy fuel foods, cleanliness, exercising and accomplishment to name a few.

When we experience these natural pleasures, we get a nice release of Dopamine which feels really good.  Our brain takes note of that good feeling and then encourages us to do that again, and again and again.

This motivation to seek pleasure is what has got us to the evolved humans we are today.

In our current world, we have created artificial, highly concentrated “false” pleasure.  They are the natural pleasures, just concentrated down to give us more Dopamine.  Unfortunately, our brain has not evolved to handle all this Dopamine.  The Dopamine down regulates, and now it takes more and more to get the same pleasure.  Have you ever eaten just one thin mint girl scout cookie? Um, no!  One sleeve maybe.  

A false pleasure is just like a natural pleasure, it is just more concentrated and therefore gets a bigger Dopamine release.  

Examples of false pleasures:

  • Sugar
  • Flour
  • Alcohol
  • Drugs
  • Video games
  • Gambling
  • Porn
  • Social Media
  • Netflix 
  • Shopping


False pleasures are not “bad”.  The problem is when we experience these, the constant search for more and more pleasure can have net negative consequence on our lives.

Natural pleasure are things we have to go out and get or do…they take effort.  False pleasures are very easy to get…most of the time it is as simple as picking up your cell phone.  There seems to be sugar and flour in everything, and packaged food is quick, easy, and cheap.  Very little effort to get most false pleasure.

One of the big problems when we live a life full of false pleasure, it will down regulate our Dopamine for both false pleasure and natural pleasure.  

Natural pleasure will pale in comparison to false pleasure.  

This helps explain why it is so hard to start eating healthy.  Healthy foods take much more time to plan, prep, and cook.  They are less “exciting” to the brain.  Your primitive brain gets really confused why you would choose to eat a baked chicken breast and steamed broccoli when you could have pizza and breadsticks!  

I won’t even go (yet) in to how this plays with our emotions.  I just want you first to become aware of these natural pleasures and false pleasures in your life.

What is the net negative effect of false pleasures in your life?

Are you willing to give them up in order to feel confident and comfortable in your flight suit?  

I want you to imagine how you would feel when your zip up your suit and it’s loose.  To have a little extra room to groove in!  How fun would that be?  No more worrying about bending over to lace up your boots or lift a patient off the ground!  Or better yet, order a new suit one size down!  

This is all possible my friend.  All you have to do is make the call for help and I’ll take care of you.  Just click the blue button below to schedule a FREE information call with me.  

Here’s hoping your weekend is clear blue & 22.